Fingers tappng on that keyboard again...

to once again produce one of my boring/i think- insightful and sometimes not so insightful blog posts.

I have come to the realisation that lately i ahve become over all happier :)
andf healthier as a person :)
im not living for anyone else, instead i am living for myself.
i love my family i love my friends i love my other half like anything.
Im happy, because im accepting life the way it is ^^.
It feels good :)
i know that often in my posts i am VERY VERY VERY vauge about thinsg that i am talking about /describing but thats just me im just one of those people whose just not prepared to share absolutely EVERYTHING about me in my so called 'personal blog' but if you read long enough you'll eventually decifer what im rambling on about.

okay okay now im starting to sound self obsessed and just a tad okay maybe more that just a tad exaggerative ( if that is a word) over my blog writing.

this post is so boring lol.

This moment.

Ever dreamt of a particular situation.
Either a conversation with someone or just being with someone.
Playing it over in your head.
What you would say.
What you would do.
How you would handle yourself.
And finding that when you got the opportunity to you were too embarassed to say what you planned to.
Your mind is too occupied with a million things you want to explain and nothing is how it appeared in your imagination.
but all thw hile in that web you find yourself
in the end overwhelmingly satisfied and walking away from it feeling okay.

Time

To blog or not to blog?
That is the question.
I have come to the conclusion recently, well not really recently --- i had always known, but didnt really come to admit it till recently.
In a state of denial shall we say or just plain crazy?
Am i happy? or alternatively am i sad?
or am i jus inbetween?
ALready im feeling much better, i should blog more often.
Why not ? i said i would at the beginnning of the year.
Hmmm im appreciating this venting. Although its not very descriptive is it?
lol

Well anyway,
Today was like any other day. Kind of.
I woke up this morning to pouring rain, the weather equiviated (if thats a word)
how i was feeling so i stayed at home instead of travelling to uni for an hour to attend a one hour tut and then another hour travelling back in the miserable pouring rain. I rang bumbum.
Ate breakfast.
Rang bumbum.
Finished off some uni online discussions.
Had some lunch
Huddled infront of the heater while watching Oprah and Dr Oz.
Rang Bumbum.
Poor bugga has chicken pox :(
In fact today was okay.
Rather it was Tonight's events that defined the whole day.



Reading my past blog posts i had written (typed) i found it interesting that however it was at the time, whether it was crappy or just plan boring like all journal entries when re read give me a nostalgic feeling.
The desire to once again be in that situation at that moment in time with such trivial and minimal worries.
Life indeed seems more simplistic 'back then' in comparison to now.
How interesting it is that no matter how much we want to progress and plan for the future we all wish at some point that we could just turn back time and bask in the innocence of just 'being'.Indeed some may disagree and i may only be speaking for a small minority of people.But to me this feels inextricably true. True to fact. True to life.
The power of playback and erase.the power of fastforward and observe.
The oh so common'if i had only known' and the infamous ' if i could go back i would change this'.
Unpredictable and Enduring.
Painstaking and heartbreaking.
Yet incredibly fullfilling.